My Story

I started writing my own life story in 2009, Becoming Me, to show my dad the parts of me he chose not to see, and at that time there was no intention of making it public.  I was off sick from the NHS with ‘work related stress’ after anxiety attacks became my morning ritual, and I know many staff in the NHS can relate to, especially now.  As Communications Manager, my job had been to write: press releases, newsletters, patient information, staff updates, annual reports, intranet and internet content, but after the only thing I still had passion for was the process of writing.  It became my therapy during that year, a place where I could escape, from a very dark place, and recall what had brought me there.  The mere chronological order of my life at the start, proved most challenging.

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To write your story is greatly therapeutic, but reliving certain parts of your life, can be challenging.  "It's been so hard: delving into the dark, dusty recesses of my mind to get it all down in black and white, fettle (South Yorkshire term for clean thoroughly) and be free of emotion I had kept as clutter, or a keepsake for too long; finally expelling it for good."  Extract from Becoming Me.  Writing my story was so cleansing, so cathartic, and enabled me to let go of the things that were no longer serving me. 

That year I had a dream.  I was looking over the edge of a canyon from a cave in the mountainside.  I could see the turquoise water shining in the lake below, just a dot in the distance.  I was so high up.  I knew that if I jumped now, that would be it, but I knew I wasn’t ready to jump yet.  Tony (my husband) said that it was the tarot card, The Fool, and that I needed to have confidence and complete conviction that I would be safe if I stepped off the edge.  But really, I should just take a deep breath and jump!  

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After I was made redundant by the NHS, a new chapter of my life started and I made that jump; the second book had begun.  I packed a three bedroomed house into a van, which clearly doesn’t fit, and set off on an adventure with my then husband, destination Portugal, to a friend’s yoga retreat.  It didn’t go as planned and that diarised account of my journey is documented in Becoming Free. 

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Becoming We, the final part of the trilogy, turns the tables and focuses on other people’s lives, your life, for we all have such fascinating stories to share, that will go on to shape our future generations.  Your story, not his-tory.  It has taken many years for this book to take shape, but the timing had to be right, and I think it’s now the perfect time to finish my trilogy!

Kay Rose-Hattrick